Well, I tried...

Put yourself in my (really skanky) shoes: it's sweltering hot outside, I'm completely parched, I'm sharing a box with La Cage veterans two of whom are under the age of 10 and I look like a boiled ham thanks to the extremely sweaty inter jazz class I just took.
But no matter - thanks to the beautiful, perfect performances given by the cast, I was able to transcend my surroundings and go to a place where nobody cares where you've come from or what you look like, as long as you're happy to come along for the ride.

The notorious and dangerous Cagelles: they defy expectation, convention and in many instances biology. The demands of this show are enormous - the dancers do not just dance. They cover every theatre discipline, they throw huge beachballs in choreographed sequence, they rollerskate, they hang from cage bars, they perform acro stunts, they lift and throw each other and themselves, they dance on very small circular tables in the first row of audience, they shamelessly flirt with theatregoers...and they do it all in high heels. And in case I didn't mention it before, they are all men playing women. Well, men playing men playing women technically. I have met each one of them backstage and I can confirm that they are all perfectly cast.

Know what? Anyone who is expecting an all-encompassing 'review' review that covers all aspects of the production and lots of imagery and stuff will be disappointed. I'm hoping to see it again, so I will be able to do a more comprehensive one. But for now I just have to get this out of my system: Doug Hodge.
His rendition of 'I am what I am' stirred in me something pretty powerful. The look on his face when he sang - no, not even he. She. Zaza, the name of the drag La Cage headliner that his character Albin plays (get your head round that if you will). It was like watching someone - a real someone, not someone being someone else - haul out their soul and wave it above their heads in defiance, and it was heartbreaking. The look on Zaza's face told me that she was giving herself to us the audience, every last molecule of her very confused and confusing being and she couldn't give any more if she tried, and all just for us that one audience. As if she would never again give that much because it was all for us and afterwards there would be nothing left. Phew.
Now stick with me, I'm not crazy - I feel humbled to have witnessed such a special moment in Zaza's life. Yes, her life - it was her life, or at the very least the lives of the thousands of Zazas that she represented - homo, hetero, metro, tranny, outcast, underdog, minority, nutcase, the shunned, dazed and confused everywhere. That's pretty amazing, to be able to stand on a stage and throw wide your arms and declare, on behalf of everyone who has suffered at the hands of those bitter evils Bigotry and Prejudice, 'I AM WHAT I AM'.

I am what I am
I am my own special creation.
So come take a look,
Give me the hook or the ovation.
It's my world that I want to take a little pride in,
My world, and it's not a place I have to hide in.
Life's not worth a damn,
'Til you can say, "Hey world, I am what I am."
I am what I am,
I don't want praise, I don't want pity.
I bang my own drum,
Some think it's noise, I think it's pretty.
And so what, if I love each feather and each spangle,
Why not try to see things from a diff'rent angle?
Your life is a sham 'til you can shout out loud
I am what I am!
I am what I am
And what I am needs no excuses.
I deal my own deck
Sometimes the ace, sometimes the deuces.
There's one life, and there's no return and no deposit;
One life, so it's time to open up your closet.
Life's not worth a damn 'til you can say,
"Hey world, I am what I am!

Gosh. Sorry, I honestly did mean to write a cracking full-blown review, but I have not recovered from the big smackintheeye that was Doug Hodge's performance. Mindblowing. Astounding. Sublime. Awe-inspiring. Superlatives, superlatives, superlatives. He made me switch from laughing to crying approximately every 5 minutes. I am lucky to have seen it. When I've finished reeling and put my brain back together I'll do a real write up. I want to beat the critics so I have til Thursday!
Glad to share my thoughts, I realise they may seem a little more like ravings much of the time. Much love, a little hope and lots of glitter (I can't help it, the songs in this show are sooo quotable)xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

PS I'm watching an episode of Frasier right now and it is one where he meets celebrities and gets all starstruck and name-drops a lot. Haha I've spotted the irony, can you???